The Friendship Dare

28 02 2012

Tuesday Re-mix - 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…”  Matthew 28:19a

I can remember pretty vividly how I felt at the births of both my daughters.  Those feelings will no doubt stay in my memory long after the details of the events have left me.  In both cases, God made us wait until long after we thought we were ready.  So when they came, I was overjoyed and thrilled and excited and so very ready to be a daddy!  With Elizabeth, my older, I can still remember taking her little hand for the very first time in Seton Hospital in Austin.  I remember thinking, “What a huge responsibility this will be…I can’t wait to get started!”  I had an attitude of extreme gratitude for the opportunity God had given me and of sober responsibility for how much work nurturing this child would be.

What if we in the church had a similar attitude about new friendships? What if we saw each new friendship in our lives as a God-ordained friendship and treated it as if God had given us a responsibility for it?  What if we prayed expectantly for God to “birth” such new friendships in our lives and then jumped into them with both feet when He answered that prayer?  Oh, how that would change the church!

We in the evangelical world often talk about “just sharing the gospel” and leaving the results up to God.  I do think that is an important perspective.  There is our part in that process and there is God’s part, and it agree that it is important not to confuse the two.  But I also think that “just sharing and leaving the results up to God” lets us off the hook of the Great Commission.  Jesus did not say, “Therefore go and share the gospel with all nations…”.  He could have said that.  But He did not say that.  The task with which He charged us was, ”Therefore go and MAKE DISCIPLES…”  Isn’t that a taller order than just throwing seed out on the ground and walking away?  Isn’t the Great Commission more than just publishing a blog post containing the gospel and being done?

As a consultant to churches in the area of conflict and relationships in ministry, I have come to believe that the biggest challenge to unity in the body of Christ today is not the brokenness of relationships, it is the widespread lack of any relationships at all.  This is true not only at the global “body of Christ” level, but (even more troubling) at the level of the local church as well.  The reality is, if you are an average American church-goer, there are scores, maybe hundreds, maybe even thousands of people in your own church with whom you have no connection whatsoever.  Furthermore, if you are an average church-goer, you are not really even looking for new friendships in your life.  So when they do come, you likely miss the whole “this is my responsibility” opportunity.

Think about this.  For a revolution that is supposed to be all about relationships and forging new friendships, we in the church have gotten amazingly good at doing all the activities of church without having to mess with the responsibility of relationships.  There are, I am sure, a myriad of reasons for this.  Relationships are painful, they are messy, they require too much vulnerability, too much time and energy, they are inefficient and they are unpredictable.  If there is a way to do all the activities of a busy church and keep relationships–especially new relationships–at a minimum, we will do it.  And we have done it.  And we have done it pretty well.

But that is not what Jesus did.  That is not what He modeled for us.  As I read the gospels, it appears to me that He spent virtually every waking hour either in prayer or investing in relationships.  Every day, every night, walking among people and making new friends.  He woke up each day hoping and expecting that God would “birth” new friendships in His life that day.  And then He nurtured those friendships and grew them, at least as much as they would permit.

So here is a dare for you this week: I dare you to pray for a new friendship in your life, either at work or at school or at church or at your bowling league or your yoga class or somewhere else in your week…and when God brings you that friendship, I dare you to treat it as a newborn baby and, with gratitude in your heart, begin to nurture it and grow it and marvel at how God uses it.  And then I dare you to do it again next week.  And again the week after that.

Go ahead.  I dare you to actually become the church He intended us to be.  Watch what happens!

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Truth, Knowledge, and the Arrogance with Which We Hold Them

21 02 2012

Tuesday Re-mix - 

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. I Corinthians 13:12

I have no idea what mirrors looked like back when Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth. But I’m certain they weren’t as good then as they are now. I rather suspect that the image in the reflection was pretty poor, maybe like looking at your reflection on the back of a silver spoon. However their mirrors worked then, one thing is clear: Paul is telling us that our state of “knowing” spiritual things is pretty poor on this side of Heaven.

For me, this is a truth which keeps me humble, especially when I am discussing theology or scriptural interpretations or even more general matters of God. Whatever it is I think I know, however certain I think I am, I must hold even that certainty with a healthy dose of humility. And when I lose that humility, I lose my ability to influence those who might disagree with me.

I sometimes think that we in the evangelical church have convinced ourselves that our job is to persuade. We act as though the gospel, despite its inherent power, somehow needs our polished communication skills and persuasive abilities in order to carry the day. We act as though it is our responsibility to appear so certain in our beliefs that even the strongest atheist will fall to his knees and surrender to God as a result of our argumentative prowess.

In that instance, then, humility is seen as weakness. Humility does not win arguments, and it does not crush your opponent with unassailable logic. Humility in my understanding of God will never sweep anyone off their feet as a result of my presentation. So, as long as it is up to me to persuade people to follow Christ, I really cannot afford to sound anything other than absolutely certain in my position. There is no room for humility, or even gentleness, for that matter.

But the irony is, the very source of all the truth tells me that, for now, I see only as through a poor reflection in a very old mirror. So when I “preach” at people with all that certainty and unswerving pride, not only do I come across to them as arrogant, but I betray my own “truth” by acting as though I see perfectly clearly, thank you very much.

Please don’t misunderstand me here. I am not saying that nothing is knowable, that we cannot be truly certain of anything at all. I am just saying that, even in our certainty, there must be humility…there must be a level of lowliness as opposed to a haughtiness and a need to persuade.

Believe me when I say this…the gospel does not need my persuasive abilities or your polished presentation. It never has. But what WILL make a difference is a people so filled with God’s Spirit that their humility is astounding to everyone around them. That humility, coupled with the truth of the gospel, will change this world.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Two Quick Lessons for Your Church…from Our Older Brother

9 02 2012

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”  Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.  Matthew 16:16-17

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”  Matthew 16:22-23

A little help from older brother

I was the baby in my family.  That means I got to learn from my older sibling’s mistakes (sorry, Sis)…not that there were THAT MANY mistakes there to learn from…but there were a few.  And I did learn from them.  That, it seems to me, is a huge benefit of being the younger brother.

I think of Peter that way…an older brother from whom we can learn.  For me, Peter’s spiritual pilgrimage has always served as a great illustration of the human frailty of the church.  Just like a local body of believers, there are times when Peter got it so very right, and there are times when he got it so very wrong.  Looking at his pilgrimage in Matthew 16 raises for me a couple of important lessons for the church.

1.  Celebrate when we get it right, but don’t get too cocky…we may just get it wrong tomorrow.  My church happens to be one of the really healthy churches in our community right now.  I like that.  It makes me feel good.  Even though people coming from other, less healthy, churches do not constitute “kingdom growth”, I am not going to lie and act like it doesn’t make me feel good.  My church is getting some things right in this particular season, and that makes me feel…well, maybe a little superior.  In a slightly sinful kind of way.  That sin is foolishness on my part.  Because there are cycles of health and dysfunction and health and dysfunction for churches, just like there are for individuals.

For Peter, Jesus’ praise of his childlike faith in Matthew 16:17 was short-lived.  With almost neck-breaking speed, Peter followed it quickly with a huge fail (Matthew 16:22).  Such is the Christian walk.  And such is the cycle for churches as well.  Once I get past the preliminary feelings of superiority for all those people coming from other churches to mine during this season, I humble myself by remembering that my own church has been the one everyone was leaving before…and may well become that church again one day.  That is an important understanding for us all.

2.  As important as the doctrine of Salvation is to us, the doctrine of Lordship better also be in our curriculum.

Peter’s humiliation in this passage stemmed from the fact that his paradigm for “the kingdom of God” did not square with God’s truth, and when confronted with that problem, he had a hard time letting go of his paradigm.  I think that issue is reflected in the American church as well.  We believe in God, we believe in Christ, we believe in the Holy Spirit, we believe in a whole host of things (“You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God”), but we also have our own ideas about how that should play out in our lives, and we have a hard time giving up on those ideas.  Our intellectual constructs of God become our idols, the things we truly worship.  Our hearts become hard with arrogance, rather than soft to His Word and to His will.

Our communities call us hypocrites…because we are.  We say we believe in God’s Word, but then we twist it and strain it and ignore it and slant it to meet our desires.  We interpret scripture based upon our life experiences…rather than interpreting our life experiences up against the plumb line of God’s Word.  In short, we often do not really allow God’s Word to reflect honestly back to us and to shape and mold our hearts.  Wasn’t that Peter’s problem?  Peter, it seems, BELIEVED IN Christ…he just didn’t necessarily BELIEVE Christ.  Sadly, that version of Peter would fit in just fine in our culture.

We must teach salvation, for sure.  But then we must teach Lordship, i.e., actually following Christ, and we must teach it well.  We must hold the Word of God in the highest of regards and teach our people to love it and respect it and BELIEVE IT.  If we are bringing our people into a relationship with Christ but then leaving them there as infants, we are missing what “church” is supposed to be about!  The great commission is not about going and making converts…it is about going and making disciples.  Discipleship matters.

So as I reflect on this passage in preparation for a lesson or two from it on Sunday, I see some important points here for the church.  And we get the benefit of our older brother, Peter’s mistakes.  For that, we say, “Thank you, brother.”

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com







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