Don’t Worry, Be Happy

12 01 2012

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27

I am not a worrier…at least I do not think I am. Oh, I do worry. Some. But I don’t think of myself that way. Still, maybe I am a worrier but just not very self-aware. Could that be possible? If so, then maybe I actually worry a great deal more than I think I do. In fact, maybe it is a huge problem for me but I am just not very connected to that reality. And maybe I worry so much (without realizing it) that I could actually have a heart attack or a stroke one day because of it. Maybe I am killing myself slowly every single day and don’t even realize it. It is possible, you know. I could die any day now.

:)  See how easy it is to worry?

I am not claiming any expertise as a worrier, but I am definitely no stranger to the notion. I have had a few stressful seasons in my life. I am actually entering a new one right now. Tomorrow, my ministry’s Board of Directors will consider approving the largest, most challenging budget in our ministry’s history. If they do approve it, it will also signal a scary shift for me. It will be a critical step toward becoming less and less financially dependent on my self-employment (as a lawyer) and more and more dependent upon this ministry to meet my family’s needs. Less dependent upon God meeting my needs the way He always has through my law practice, and more dependent upon God meeting those needs in entirely new and different ways. Scared? Worried? You bet!

In my experience–and this could just be me–it just does not help me much to know I should not be worrying. You do me no favors with your simple counsel, “Blake, don’t worry” or “Blake, stop worrying”. How, exactly do you do that? How do you just not worry? “Don’t worry, be happy” just does not work for me. No, in my experience, if I want to stop worrying, I have to treat it like a bad addiction and replace that behavior with another, more positive behavior. I suspect that may have been Paul’s experience as well. Look at his counsel to the Philippian church in chapter 4 of that letter: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  See? Paul would say that all the energy we are using to worry is energy we could be using for prayer.

That is the solution to the worry problem, isn’t it? We must replace worrying with praying.  That is the productive behavior.  That is the behavior which draws us closer to God and which slowly but surely helps us to see our world and our circumstances through His eyes.  Come on, you know it’s true…you always wonder where you will find the time to have the kind of prayer life you know you should have.  Just take the “worry” time and use it for prayer.  Think about all the hours each week that will buy you!

As for me, I have prayed more for this ministry in the past few months than ever before.  And through those prayers, God has given me a peace.  It is not an unrealistic, naive kind of peace.  It is a deep, grounded peace that God is still in control…still on His throne, that He still loves me and that He still has much to do through this ministry.  Prayer has been a good thing for me in this!  Oh there is much work to be done, and it will be hard in some cases.  It will not all be happy times.  But there will be joy, and peace, and we will see God do great and mighty things.  Not because we worried, but because we prayed.

So I am changing my tune.  ”Don’t Worry, Be Happy”?  Not so much.  ”Don’t worry…PRAY!”  Now that is worth singing about!

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee. Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




A Peacemaker’s Advent: Mary and Joseph

15 12 2011

Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”… When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  Matthew 1:19-21, 23

 The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.”  “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.  Luke 1:35-38

The Christmas story is filled with contrasts between those who rearranged their very lives in order to make room for the birth of the Messiah and those who either opposed His birth or were completely indifferent to it.  Mary and Joseph had their lives changed forever.  Their obedience and their ability to embrace a seemingly impossible circumstance set them apart.  Even more, it was their willingness to set aside their own pretty good plans in order to be obedient to God which makes them perfect illustrations for our “Peacemaker’s Advent” series.

Upon learning of Mary’s pregnancy, Joseph had a plan.  he respected the law but also had great mercy on Mary.  He would just divorce her quietly.  No public spectacle.  Follow the law but do as little harm as possible to Mary.  He had it all worked out.  It was actually a good and honorable plan.  And then God gave him a different plan…one fraught with risk and probable public humiliation.  Through a series of dreams, God would show Joseph a better way.

I started my peacemaking ministry to churches as an arrogant young lawyer out to teach all the simple-minded laymen in the church a thing or two about conflict resolution.  Having spent hundreds of hours in mediations and other conflict resolution forums, I felt confident that I had a good and honorable plan for dealing with conflict among God’s people.  Just a few huge disappointments later, God had my attention.  We would not be doing peacemaking the world’s way…we would be doing it His way.

Oh how I would like to be able to report to you that, like Joseph and Mary, I immediately stepped in line and started to get it all right.  I did not.  Frankly, I still do not.  But I am learning more and more that peacemaking among God’s people is not a process that lends itself to nice, clean formulas and protocols…rather, it is a dance…with God…and I am not leading!

Mary and Joseph are wonderful illustrations for us.  They demonstrate what it looks like to let go of our own very good plans in order to pursue the clear will of God, even when that will doesn’t make a great deal of sense to us or to the people around us.  As peacemakers among God’s people, there is no more important skill for us to develop than letting go and letting God do what only He can do.    It is a trust thing.  Merry Christmas, fellow peacemakers.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




The Lies About Church Unity

13 12 2011

Tuesday Re-mix -

“…being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:3

I am now more than a year past the half-century mark on this earth.  Quite the accomplishment, it seems to me.  When I was a teenager, I honestly never wanted to still be alive by this age.  It just seemed unbearably old to me then.  I have recently changed my mind about that.

I see a lot of things differently now.  I have developed a patience…a longer-term perspective on things.  I have learned that many of the things I thought as a young adult were just lies.  Here are some of the lies I have checked off my list as “learned” over the years:

If you can afford the mortgage payment, you can afford the house.

If you can afford the car payment, you can afford the car.

No matter how old you get, you’re never more than 90 days from getting back in shape.

You can work long and hard, or you can get lucky…lasting success can come either way.

When two good people get married, good marriages always result.

Lies, lies, lies…all of them.  In all these ways, I have learned that the same God who created the world in six days expects us to take significantly longer and work significantly harder to accomplish anything of real worth.

It makes perfect sense to me, then, that our job of “preserving the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” in the church is a tedious, difficult, long-term job which we cannot expect to happen overnight.  Because we are talking about real, human relationships, this job is messy and complicated and takes lots and lots of intentional effort.  In short, our responsibility of preserving the unity of the Spirit requires that we disavow ourselves of a few myths.  So let’s get started, shall we?  Here are the lies:

1.  That unity in the church is God’s job and He will do it magically and miraculously if we will let Him. The truth is, God has already done His part.  He gave us his Spirit…the one true source of unity.  But we also have a job: to preserve the unity He provided among us.  That job is hard and never-ending this side of Heaven.  God’s miracle has already happened.  What are you doing to preserve it?

2.  That genuine unity merely requires that we identify a common enemy or a common goal. We learned this as a nation, when the “unity” we felt after 9-11 ended up being short-lived and just a few months later our country was more divided than ever.  Similarly, any church who thinks getting together on a building program is all they need to begin experiencing some unity is fooling themselves.  There are no such “shortcuts” to the difficult and messy job of preserving the unity of the Spirit.

3.  That unity requires that we all agree with each other about everything. That is not at all what being “like-minded” meant to the apostle Paul.  The New Testament church was literally filled with disagreement, even doctrinal disagreement (see Acts 15).  But Paul always encouraged them to learn to treat each other with respect and to create an environment for growth together despite their disagreements over difficult issues.

4.  That it is more important to be right than to be unified. I believe Jesus settled this in John 17 when He prayed for the future church.  He could have prayed for anything at all, including doctrinal purity (i.e., being right) as He envisioned his future church.  He prayed for unity.  Nothing else.  Just unity.  If we will learn to live in Biblical interpersonal relationships with each other and in right relationship to God, the doctrinal stuff will take care of itself…the Spirit will see to that just as He has seen to it for some 2000 years already.  But as history has shown us over and over again, the Spirit will NOT do our job of preserving the unity.

5.  That we can achieve unity, even if we are not a praying church. Let’s face it.  God has not promised anything to the people who do not pray.  A church which does not pray together is, well…not really the church.  Being in right relationship with each other requires being in right relationship to God.  And being in right relationship to God requires prayer.  It is not rocket science.  Scripture makes this one easy to understand.

Church unity, like anything else involving human relationships, is messy work…and hard work…and lots of work.  The questions are these: (1) Are you prepared to do the work?  (2) Have you believed the lies?

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com







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