The Sins of Community

8 03 2012

 “Go to Bethel and sin;
go to Gilgal and sin yet more.
Bring your sacrifices every morning,
your tithes every three years.
Burn leavened bread as a thank offering
and brag about your freewill offerings—
boast about them, you Israelites,
for this is what you love to do,”
declares the Sovereign LORD.  
Amos 4:4-5

In the category of “there’s nothing new under the sun”, many of the problems we see today in the church have been with God’s people a long, long time.  Near the top of that list of problems is that people with hardened hearts which are cold toward God are still showing up at all the traditional times and in all the conventional ways for “church”.  In other words, God’s people are often pretty different on the inside than they are on the outside.  We are capable of going through the motions of spiritual things even while our hearts are not turned toward God.  Furthermore, even knowing this about ourselves, we continue to foster a form of “church” which quite intentionally avoids any system or structure that might actually fix this problem. Sadly, we do not really want the kind of genuine community to which scripture calls us, because that would mean accountability and intimacy and giving over some level of control in our lives to the community at large…or, worse, to God.

What I am saying is this: if hypocrisy and lack of integrity are our problems, genuine Spirit-filled Christian community is the solution.  But it is a solution we are not altogether sure we want…and we have structured most of our gathered church experiences so as to downplay the importance of that very type of community.

Don’t we tend to wrap our “church” experience all up in the hour or so of gathered worship each week?  Oh, we may hit a committee meeting or two, or even a Sunday School class or choir rehearsal, but that hour or so of gathered worship is the centerpiece of our “church” time.  You know why that is?  Because we can come for “worship” and listen and sing and be faceless and anonymous, with no accountability and no intimacy at all.  Maybe I connect with God.  Maybe I do not.  Nobody knows but me.  It is what “church” is dangerously close to becoming to us.  And even though we know we should have intimate relationships with genuine accountability, we often choose not to do so.  And even though we choose not to do so, most of our church structures allow us to continue to “move up” into leadership as long as we show up and look right.

It is what church has become to so many of God’s people because it is what we want church to be.  We–all of us–have fostered this form of church by our preferences.  This is not just about the sins of a few bad people.  This is about the church we have all chosen.  The comfortable church.  The one that makes us feel good about ourselves without ever having to become transparent and without ever having to change anything about ourselves.  This is the church we have all made.  This is not about individual sin; rather, this is about the collective sin of us all as a community.

Amos’ words were not aimed at a handful of individuals in Israel.  They were aimed at a nation.  And they are aimed at us all, as the community of God’s people.

But there is good news.

We can still repair this damage.

We can still turn this ship around.  We can still insist on genuine community.  We can still decide that, without one another’s help, we will never become the people God has called us to be.  We can do the hard things associated with transparency and accountability and intimacy.

We just have to decide what we want “church” to be.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Bridging the Generation Gap in the Church

6 03 2012

Tuesday Re-mix - 

So much of the conflict I see in churches today falls into a general category I call “Generational Issues”.  I don’t hold myself out as an expert in the social changes ushered in by each of the last few generations, but I think any of you would agree that the various generations represented in the American church today are radically different from one to the next in terms of how they communicate, how they form and maintain relationships, and how they worship.  Obviously, there are no clear, bright lines of division.  Moreover, there are plenty of obvious exceptions to the prevailing preferences of generations (i.e., not all senior citizens prefer traditional church music to contemporary, etc.).  But the youngest adult generations in the church are approaching God and the church so very differently than their grandparents did that it is bound to raise some difficult issues for us all to work through.

But the problem is never as simple as sitting down and figuring out who is right and who is wrong.  Oh how much easier my job would be if it were that simple!  No, the bigger challenge by far is getting each side of a generational issue to even care much about the other side.  The problem in many (most?) of our churches, it seems to me, is the lack of relationship between and among the generations.

I see it often.  A church begins to have serious worship style conflict, so they call someone (me) in to help them work through it.  When I ask one side to articulate the fears and motives of the other side, they cannot even come close.  They cannot do that, because they are not even trying to understand the fears and motives of the other side.  All they can see is the conduct, and they interpret that as “they just don’t care about us”.  But if I were to ask them if they are a friendly church, they would all agree, “Oh yes!  It’s nothing like that!  Of course we are friendly.  We don’t have any problems like that around here!”

You can see that, where there are no genuine relationships between generations in a church, as soon as an issue comes along that has generational overtones (like worship music), the lines will draw quickly and clearly.  It is not because the relationships are broken.  It is because the relationships were not there in the first place!

So, the challenge is this: how do we in the church create friendships across generational lines?  How can we be more intentional about service projects and ministry opportunities that have multiple generations working side by side?  How can we strategically structure opportunities for mentoring relationships between our older folks and our younger folks?  How can we create an environment where generations are taking the time to learn one another’s “languages” and games and stories and struggles?

These are serious questions.  I would love to hear from you on this subject!  Would you use the comment feature below and tell me some creative ways your church has found to forge better relationships between generations?   Please!

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Shepherds Among Us

1 03 2012

The words of Amos, one of the shepherds of Tekoa—the vision he saw concerning Israel two years before the earthquake, when Uzziah was king of Judah and Jeroboam son of Jehoash was king of Israel.  Amos 1:1

If God ever gives you the opportunity to change careers, to start over again and to choose any occupation in the world in order to be used by Him in His service…choose “shepherd”.  There is pretty good Biblical support for that choice.  Do not choose “lawyer”…not so much scriptural support there.

We are beginning a Spring study of Amos, Micah, Hosea and Isaiah this week in The Gathering.  I am amazed at the uncommon authority with which these guys spoke, given their relative positions in life.  Amos was a lowly shepherd…from Tekoa…not even from Israel (the Northern kingdom) where God sent him to prophesy.  He was a shepherd and a foreigner…with a very unpopular message.

God shows us over and over again through His story that He is perfectly willing to use common, every-day, “average Joes” to impact the world; not only willing but seemingly preferring of the common guys, the shepherds.  There is nobody too small, too remote, too plain, nor too obscure for God.  He just has an eye for talent, doesn’t he?

I wonder if you as a church leader have the same eyes?  Do you see the unbelievable potential in the small, “insignificant” people of your congregation?  More importantly, do your people know…REALLY KNOW…that our God is big enough and powerful enough to choose THEM to make a difference?

Evangelist, Mordecai Ham had such an eye.  He saw something in a 16-year-old farm boy who came to one of his tent revivals in Charlotte in 1934.  This was a farm boy who had been kicked out of church for being “too worldly”.  But Mordecai Ham must have seen something different in order to spend the time to sit with him and tell him about the Christian walk.  It just seems to me we all need those kind of eyes.  We all need to ask God to help us see the “shepherds” among us and how He might use them to make a difference in the world.  The unknown shepherd from Tekoa had a timeless message straight from God.  Mordecai Ham’s 16-year-old outcast farm boy would also end up having a message for the world.  His name was Billy Graham…maybe you have heard of him…and maybe the next Billy Graham is in your youth group right now.

Got any shepherds…any 16-year-old farm boys in your church?  Any of them who just don’t seem to fit in, who seem “too worldly” to ever really make it in the church?  Do you have any members who seem like outcasts, who won’t conform and be like everyone else?  Ask God for eyes to see and for ears to hear.  You might be surprised.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




The Friendship Dare

28 02 2012

Tuesday Re-mix - 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…”  Matthew 28:19a

I can remember pretty vividly how I felt at the births of both my daughters.  Those feelings will no doubt stay in my memory long after the details of the events have left me.  In both cases, God made us wait until long after we thought we were ready.  So when they came, I was overjoyed and thrilled and excited and so very ready to be a daddy!  With Elizabeth, my older, I can still remember taking her little hand for the very first time in Seton Hospital in Austin.  I remember thinking, “What a huge responsibility this will be…I can’t wait to get started!”  I had an attitude of extreme gratitude for the opportunity God had given me and of sober responsibility for how much work nurturing this child would be.

What if we in the church had a similar attitude about new friendships? What if we saw each new friendship in our lives as a God-ordained friendship and treated it as if God had given us a responsibility for it?  What if we prayed expectantly for God to “birth” such new friendships in our lives and then jumped into them with both feet when He answered that prayer?  Oh, how that would change the church!

We in the evangelical world often talk about “just sharing the gospel” and leaving the results up to God.  I do think that is an important perspective.  There is our part in that process and there is God’s part, and it agree that it is important not to confuse the two.  But I also think that “just sharing and leaving the results up to God” lets us off the hook of the Great Commission.  Jesus did not say, “Therefore go and share the gospel with all nations…”.  He could have said that.  But He did not say that.  The task with which He charged us was, ”Therefore go and MAKE DISCIPLES…”  Isn’t that a taller order than just throwing seed out on the ground and walking away?  Isn’t the Great Commission more than just publishing a blog post containing the gospel and being done?

As a consultant to churches in the area of conflict and relationships in ministry, I have come to believe that the biggest challenge to unity in the body of Christ today is not the brokenness of relationships, it is the widespread lack of any relationships at all.  This is true not only at the global “body of Christ” level, but (even more troubling) at the level of the local church as well.  The reality is, if you are an average American church-goer, there are scores, maybe hundreds, maybe even thousands of people in your own church with whom you have no connection whatsoever.  Furthermore, if you are an average church-goer, you are not really even looking for new friendships in your life.  So when they do come, you likely miss the whole “this is my responsibility” opportunity.

Think about this.  For a revolution that is supposed to be all about relationships and forging new friendships, we in the church have gotten amazingly good at doing all the activities of church without having to mess with the responsibility of relationships.  There are, I am sure, a myriad of reasons for this.  Relationships are painful, they are messy, they require too much vulnerability, too much time and energy, they are inefficient and they are unpredictable.  If there is a way to do all the activities of a busy church and keep relationships–especially new relationships–at a minimum, we will do it.  And we have done it.  And we have done it pretty well.

But that is not what Jesus did.  That is not what He modeled for us.  As I read the gospels, it appears to me that He spent virtually every waking hour either in prayer or investing in relationships.  Every day, every night, walking among people and making new friends.  He woke up each day hoping and expecting that God would “birth” new friendships in His life that day.  And then He nurtured those friendships and grew them, at least as much as they would permit.

So here is a dare for you this week: I dare you to pray for a new friendship in your life, either at work or at school or at church or at your bowling league or your yoga class or somewhere else in your week…and when God brings you that friendship, I dare you to treat it as a newborn baby and, with gratitude in your heart, begin to nurture it and grow it and marvel at how God uses it.  And then I dare you to do it again next week.  And again the week after that.

Go ahead.  I dare you to actually become the church He intended us to be.  Watch what happens!

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




…And Some Doubted

23 02 2012

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.  Matthew 28:16-17

You are probably familiar with the 80/20 principle of organizational dynamics.  It holds that, in any organization of any kind, once it hits its stride and “normalizes”, 20% of the people are doing 80% of the “work”.  I’m sure you have heard at least some version of it.  I dislike that principle as it relates to the church.  You probably do as well.  I have tried and tried over the years to kick against it, because it is not indicative of the “revolution” I believe Jesus intended.  If you are a leader in the church, you have probably tried to work against it as well, with varying degrees of success.

Want a sobering reality check?  Listen to some of the 80%…

I am that dynamic, gifted young leader in the church whom you ask year after year to take on a responsibility and I just keep turning you down.  I have doubts.

I am one of the huge percentage of your church members who is pretty steadily there for worship but have never darkened the doors of prayer meeting on Wednesday night.  I have doubts.

We are part of that handful of couples who seem so spiritually mature in Bible study discussion but who choose not to be there more than half the time.  We have doubts.

I am one of your elders or even staff members who start off so well but whose commitment dwindles over time and you begin to lose me.  I have doubts.

I am one of the 15 e-mails in your inbox right now from church members who want to point out problems in the church, as compared to ZERO e-mails from anyone offering actual solutions.  All 15 of us have doubts.

The truth is, I (as one of the 80%) have doubts about God, about church, and even about you.  But be encouraged.  After 3 years of life-changing ministry with Him, after seeing Him speak to the storm and calm the sea, after witnessing His feeding of the 5,000, after watching Him face crucifixion with unbelievable authority and peace, and after the miracle of the resurrection…Jesus’ own disciples had doubts as well.  So bear with me and show me a little grace.  Be patient.  They came around.  Maybe I will too.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Truth, Knowledge, and the Arrogance with Which We Hold Them

21 02 2012

Tuesday Re-mix - 

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. I Corinthians 13:12

I have no idea what mirrors looked like back when Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth. But I’m certain they weren’t as good then as they are now. I rather suspect that the image in the reflection was pretty poor, maybe like looking at your reflection on the back of a silver spoon. However their mirrors worked then, one thing is clear: Paul is telling us that our state of “knowing” spiritual things is pretty poor on this side of Heaven.

For me, this is a truth which keeps me humble, especially when I am discussing theology or scriptural interpretations or even more general matters of God. Whatever it is I think I know, however certain I think I am, I must hold even that certainty with a healthy dose of humility. And when I lose that humility, I lose my ability to influence those who might disagree with me.

I sometimes think that we in the evangelical church have convinced ourselves that our job is to persuade. We act as though the gospel, despite its inherent power, somehow needs our polished communication skills and persuasive abilities in order to carry the day. We act as though it is our responsibility to appear so certain in our beliefs that even the strongest atheist will fall to his knees and surrender to God as a result of our argumentative prowess.

In that instance, then, humility is seen as weakness. Humility does not win arguments, and it does not crush your opponent with unassailable logic. Humility in my understanding of God will never sweep anyone off their feet as a result of my presentation. So, as long as it is up to me to persuade people to follow Christ, I really cannot afford to sound anything other than absolutely certain in my position. There is no room for humility, or even gentleness, for that matter.

But the irony is, the very source of all the truth tells me that, for now, I see only as through a poor reflection in a very old mirror. So when I “preach” at people with all that certainty and unswerving pride, not only do I come across to them as arrogant, but I betray my own “truth” by acting as though I see perfectly clearly, thank you very much.

Please don’t misunderstand me here. I am not saying that nothing is knowable, that we cannot be truly certain of anything at all. I am just saying that, even in our certainty, there must be humility…there must be a level of lowliness as opposed to a haughtiness and a need to persuade.

Believe me when I say this…the gospel does not need my persuasive abilities or your polished presentation. It never has. But what WILL make a difference is a people so filled with God’s Spirit that their humility is astounding to everyone around them. That humility, coupled with the truth of the gospel, will change this world.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com




Matthew 23 Does Not Apply to Me

16 02 2012

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long…”  Matthew 23:5

When I was in High School, my Dad gave me a Ryrie Study Bible.  I wore it out.  I was proud of that Bible.  It wasn’t just the huge size of it (it was a larger Bible than the hard-back “Living Bible” so many of my friends carried)…it was all the commentary in it that made me proud.  It was a little unusual for my circle of High School friends, so it drew some attention.  And when friends opened it up to look at it, it just screamed “THE OWNER OF THIS BIBLE IS A BIBLE SCHOLAR AND A TRULY SPIRITUAL PERSON!”  Seriously.  You could hear it. The advantage, of course, of having that Bible was that I didn’t have to tell anyone anything about me in order to manage their perception of me.  They need only have seen my Bible.  I liked that.

In 1984, on my 24th birthday, my Dad gave me a “preaching bible”.  It was black, with a very thin profile.  By then, I had grown mature enough in my Christian walk to be a little embarrassed by my huge Study Bible(s).  (I actually had several of them by then.)  This “Thin Line” Bible was understated.  When friends saw it, it said (in a very low key, nonchalant voice), “the owner of this Bible has so much scripture crammed into his brain, he doesn’t really need a big study Bible.”  My attitude toward Study Bibles had changed.  Actually, I think I heard a Christian comedian make a joke about huge Study Bibles and how pretentious they were and it changed how I saw them.  I certainly did not want to be perceived as being pretentious.  So, my managing of others’ perception of me was a little more refined…now, it was actually “reverse snobbery”.  It was like driving a Honda instead of a Lexus.  ”I don’t need that big Bible to be Spiritual.”  You know what I mean.  Admit it.

I have actually used that Bible for the last 27 years or so.  I particularly use it often when I speak.  I use it for studying as well.  It is my favorite.  But I once saw Len Sweet speak without any Bible at all, and when he needed one, he just used the one from the back of the pew in the church where he was speaking.  It was very cool.  Len is very cool.  He didn’t wear socks when he spoke, and I liked that.  And I loved his use of someone else’s Bible.  I thought to myself, “I can do that.”  It is endearing to my audience, saying, “I respect YOUR Bible.”  It also says, “I am so intimately familiar with God’s Word, that I can use this unfamiliar Bible to make my point.”  That is a good thing to say, don’t you think?  I like that perception, though I do choose to wear socks when I speak.

I also have YouVersion on my iPhone.  I know that many of you do as well.  There are multiple advantages to it.  I now have about a hundred or so translations and paraphrases at my fingertips…on my phone.  Very, very cool.  And it has audible versions as well, so I can listen to it in my car.  People driving by me can see me listening to scripture.  Also, I actually copied and pasted the scripture at the top of this blog post using my iPhone.  Hard to beat that.  Now, when I am with friends or audiences who might appreciate it, I can read scripture from my phone.  I like that message.  It says, “I am hip, I am progressive, I have the Word of God embedded in the most important single piece of technology I have ever owned.”  As long as I use a little judgment with regard to when and where I use it, I can manage people’s perception of my spirituality like never before.  Awesome little tool, don’t you agree?

As for the scripture at the top of this post…it’s not really there for my benefit.  It is for you.

I, after all, have memorized it.

Blessings.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com







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